6-28. Media Skills: Email [LO-4] The following email message contains numerous errors related to what you’ve learned about planning and writing business messages. SUBJECT: Compliance with new break procedure Some of you may not like the rules about break times; however, we determined that keeping track of employees while they took breaks at times they determined rather than regular breaks at prescribed times was not working as well as we would have liked it to work. The new rules are not going to be an option. If you do not follow the new rules, you could be docked from your pay for hours when you turned up missing, since your direct supervisor will not be able to tell whether you were on a “break” or not and will assume that you have walked away from your job. We cannot be responsible for any errors that result from your inattentiveness to the new rules. I have already heard complaints from some of you and I hope this memo will end this issue once and for all. The decision has already been made. Starting Monday, January 1, you will all be required to take a regular 15-minute break in the morning and again in the afternoon, and a regular thirty-minute lunch at the times specified by your supervisor, NOT when you think you need a break or when you “get around to it.” There will be no exceptions to this new rule! Felicia August Manager Billing and accounting First, describe the flaws you discover in this email message. Next, develop a plan for rewriting the message. Use the following steps to organize your efforts before you begin writing: What are the major flaws in this message? • Determine the purpose. • Identify and analyze your audience. • Define the main idea. • Outline the major supporting points. • Choose between the direct and indirect approaches. Now rewrite the email message. Don’t forget to leave ample time for revision of your own work before you turn it in.
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