Is religion a form of art? Why or why not?
Description
The overall structure is one introduction paragraph that introduces two articles and ends with an argumentive thesis. The total is three body paragraphs. Each contains the main idea, an introduction to the idea, one quote from an article, an analysis of the quote, transition sentences, another quote from another article, a connection between the quotes, and a small summary back to the main idea. Here are the comments from my professor for the rough draft: – Introduce the authors by their full names in your intro. i.e. Karen Armstrong. Then you can refer to them by their last name. -Your thesis is unclear in this incarnation. Religion and art both evolve in the same way? They both evolve through time in the same way? Say it cleanly and clearly. Conceptually, it’s smart. -You are using the authors names and their texts in your topic sentences. This is a mistake. When you lead with summary, your graph will feel more summarial and less argumentative, and it will be harder for your argument to scan/be legible. Go back to the uneven U if you need to – begin with a principle and then back it up with text. -Beginning with art and religion in Armstrong is, I think a mistake. Pursue your thesis doggedly – track carefully how religion evolves through time, then how art does it, and then compare. Or compare as you go. -That being said, you don’t seem to argue your thesis. Right now, you basically jump from idea to idea – you don’t pursue one doggedly. Any one of these are fine – but one should be enough for a paper. If you want to write about how art and religion both change us, imagine that your job is to ZOOM IN on how art changes us – show it step by step, mining Armstrongs examples. Do the same thing for art and Lethem. Then – compare in a way that carefully considers the way these things differ, and challenge your thesis with these complications and comparisons. Focus on one connection. Pursue it. For five pages. Show how each idea builds off of the one that came before it in your paper.
